Sunday, May 18, 2008

If you think you have worries...

Can you spare a few prayers? Please read this woman's entry to her "diary."

"Every morning it's the same. I'm far away, in my dreams (last night, I was in Paris), and then, slowly, I wake up, feel the bed around me, feel the pillow between my knees, feel the slight soreness of my hip and in my back when I turn, and it all comes back to me: Oh yeah ... I have cancer. Sometimes, like yesterday and this morning, I think, I have cancer, and I'm going to die. And I get so depressed I can barely drag myself out of bed. I'm all bogged down with wondering: Is the chemo going to work? What if it doesn't work, and I nearly destroy my body and I still have these tumors, and they start growing again? What if I go through all this poisoned suffering for nothing? And what about the week that I'm hooked up to the ifosfamide? Will I be afraid to touch my children? They say my bodily fluids will be toxic, and that anyone else who touches them will be poisoned, that Steve will need to wear rubber gloves to clean anything that I've accidentally peed or bled or spit on. What about my sweat? I wake up in the middle of the night soaked with night sweats. Will that poison Daniel if he rolls into me? Will I be able to feed Ben his bottle, to hold him at all, without worrying that my poison is seeping into him? Will we have to wash all our bedding every single day, with gloves and extra rinse cycles?

If all these worries aren't enough, I've been having a nutritional crisis lately. I've read in a few places that sugar feeds cancer through the production of insulin. I think about the slice from Betty's Pies I ate last weekend, all the desserts people have brought over for us, all the sweet fruits I love to eat, like bananas and pears. Have I been causing my cancer to grow? Have I been unwittingly feeding this cancer with the foods I eat?...
(Continued at Emilie's blog)

After you finish reading Emilie's post, please search your heart and see if you can spare a few prayers and also a few dollars (or more). A trust fund has been set up at her blog.

Thank you and God bless!


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